Every once in a while there comes a day when we must face hardship. Sadness. We question God, although we know He is Sovereign and He knows best. Still, we wonder why certain things have to happen. This is one of those days. My heart is heavy with grief as my father is facing his final days here on earth with us. I have always loved him, no matter how badly I sometimes treated him. I was not the easiest kid to raise. My lack of respect came from a god complex and too many drugs and alcohol. It did not come from a lack of love. I’ve been living with my parents since 2008, and I have been in awe of all the things my dad knows. The things he can fix. The problems he can solve. Did you know he never once had a late bill payment in his life? Amazing. He has a lot of integrity and discipline. I hope I didn’t embarrass him too much with my lack of those same things. Believe me, he rubbed off on me these last few years. Not too many people know he saved my life. I was homeless and jobless, getting drunk and high. He allowed me to move in with him and mom. I had no car. No driver’s license. He drove me everywhere. To AA meetings. To counseling sessions. To physical therapy. You name it. If I had to be there, he took me. He also showed me what a true marriage looks like. I don’t know any other couple as much in love as mom and dad. I can only hope to experience that kind of uncompromising love in my life some day. Right now, my only thought is how in the world am I going to move forward through life without dad? But I have to remember this: He took me in to his home in order to get me “up to snuff” so I could survive. So I could live. Thank you dad. And thank you God for helping me rebuild my relationship with dad these last five years. I am sure all who knew dad are going to feel empty without him. Just remember to reach out and grab the hand of Jesus. He knows exactly how you feel.
Published by The Accidental Poet
I am a Christian in recovery from four decades of active addiction. I earned a B.S. in Psychology from Colorado Christian University, and I am currently earning an M.A. in Theological Studies at the same school. The main focus of my ministry is apologetics and doctrinal studies, and I am also involved in working with individuals struggling with mental health and substance abuse issues. To me, there is no "higher power" than Jesus Christ, who broke the chain of addiction in my life. View all posts by The Accidental Poet