Dedicated to the memory of my friend, Ronnie Benner, who killed himself by jumping off the Shikellamy State Park lookout.
I keep playing it over and over
In my mind; he leaps again and again.
He climbs over the fence
And steps to the edge of all his yesterdays,
The breeze making his hair dance.
He has become unable to remember pleasure,
Thinking only of pain;
He is smothered in a blanket heavy with malaise;
No one to talk to,
No chance for release.
He takes one last step,
Then he’s gone.
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Published by The Accidental Poet
Like a lot of people, I went to college. But unlike most, I took my Penn State classes in a state prison. I was serving three years for a crime spree that occurred while I was drunk and high. After years of therapy, jail time, AA meetings, and "seminars" on how to be human, I rediscovered Jesus. It took quite a number of slips and falls to finally surrender. I recognized my powerlessness over alcohol and drugs. I came to accept that I was tainted with a sin nature. And I came to understand that the only solution was to turn my will and my life over to God. I have two wonderful sons. They came out of my second marriage. I have always hoped that they would learn at an early age what took me over thirty years to learn. I'm 60 years old now, sober, working on a master's in Biblical Studies and Theology after completing my B.S in Psychology. I feel compelled to write about my experiences as a recovered Christian opiate addict and alcoholic. I attend Celebrate Recovery meetings and have become involved with youth ministry. My life has never been better.
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