I wrote this poem in 2015, during one of the darkest periods of my life. Once again, I had been abusing prescription painkillers, believing that I’d never be free.
The sky opens, rain pours down.
Through streaming tears
I think I see God.
Still, I feel alone, without,
buried deep beneath the
remains of bad decisions.
I am trying, looking
for solutions. No time
for error, no room for emotion.
I grow weary, unable to overcome
this deep, cold feeling
that I’m on my way out.
Morning comes,
surprised I’m still here.
Oh, how I want to fly; soaring
above failure; somewhere
far over the hills, away from the
stench of my broken dreams
and all this pathetic roadkill.
© 2015 Steven Barto
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Published by The Accidental Poet
I am a Christian in recovery following four decades of active addiction. I have a B.S. in Psychology and an M.A. in Theological Studies from Colorado Christian University, and I will be pursuing an M.A. in Divinity at Denver Seminary in May 2021. My focus is on evangelism and apologetics, doctrinal studies, and working with individuals struggling with mental health and substance abuse issues. To me, there is no "higher power" than Jesus Christ, who broke the chain of addiction in my life. I will be seeking a position as a prison chaplain and/an associate or teaching pastor upon completing my MDiv. I am currently looking for a position at a drug and alcohol rehab, where I intend to work during the three-year master's program at Denver Seminary. I believe in the power in the Name of Jesus to break every chain. I believe counseling must include discipline, and discipling must include counseling.
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Do not die in the winter cold, look through the rain (tears) the moon and the sun has always been shining, it brightens the earth just like the rain waters the plants. Never stop in the midst of the storm, keep the faith, keep going. I am in the storm. Thank you for the poem.
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