Recovery

“I’m Ready to Go.”

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Lines, no, cracks
in the walls—
all of them,
and the ceiling too;
the kind that morph
while you stare,
unaware,
drifting back and forth
from what was and
what can be.

I started packing
this morning, slowly,
still rigid with fear
that it will all start
folding in on me again,
drowning my voice,
shackling me to the past
like a stake and chain
for a dog.

It’s not that I want
to stay—I don’t;
The air here smells
like sweat and sick
and just a hint of desperation;
sunlight barely pushing
itself through five years
of rain scum
on the window panes.

Now there’s a curious
metaphor for sure,
the half-decade-old
film of forgotten responsibility
and lost opportunity
weighing me down,
causing the clown of bloodshot eyes and
rotten flesh to reappear,
a thick blanket of fear
wrapping around me, squeezing,
trapping my breath.

Last month, last year,
the last thousand years,
packed full of regrets
so heavy I spent most days
in bed or in my broken recliner.
If my vision were clearer back then
maybe I could’ve
recognized where I was—
then I would’ve been
(at least a little) more
likely to head to the door,

and flinging it open,
giving the sunshine at least
half a chance of falling on
my emaciated body, warming
my bones and clearing
my brain—which is, frankly,
a prerequisite to
freedom—victory from
the bondage of
self-deprecation.

No bother, though, because
I’ve been flexing my
heart lately, strengthening
my muscle of
hope now that I’m off dope;
shocked yet relieved that
I’m done with all that and
ready for this, whatever
this is—
I’m ready to go.

©2020 Steven Barto

Mental Health and Addiction

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The first section of this post is taken from the blog of Sophia Majlessi,
National Council for Behavioral Health
Released January 8, 2020

Voters More Likely to Support a Candidate Who Promises to Address Mental Health and Addiction, According to New Polling from the National Council for Behavioral Health Released Ahead of December 16 New Hampshire 2020 Presidential Candidate Forum

WASHINGTON, D.C. (December 11, 2019)—New polling released today by the National Council for Behavioral Health shows strong bipartisan agreement among registered voters in New Hampshire that the federal government is not doing enough to address mental health (84% of Democrats and 72% of Republicans) and addiction (77% of Democrats and 53% of Republicans) in America. The National Council released the new polling in advance of the Unite for Mental Health: New Hampshire Town Hall, a public forum for 2020 presidential candidates to discuss mental health and addiction policies. The National Council for Behavioral Health, Mental Health for US and the NH Community Behavioral Health Association will host Unite for Mental Health: New Hampshire Town Hall on December 16 at the Dana Center at Saint Anselm College in Manchester, N.H.

“The message is clear: candidates who want to win New Hampshire need to tell voters they have a plan to address the mental health and addiction crisis, one of the most important health issues facing the nation,” said Chuck Ingoglia, president and CEO of the National Council for Behavioral Health. “The Unite for Mental Health: New Hampshire Town Hall will provide an important opportunity for presidential candidates to engage with New Hampshire families, mental health professionals and local policymakers to discuss the issues and share solutions voters—and the nation—are eager to support.”

This statewide poll comes on the heels of new national data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) confirming that suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers in the U.S. The suicide rate among people ages 10 to 24 years old climbed 56% from 2007 to 2017, according to the CDC report. These findings, compared with high rates of death nationwide from drug overdose, are leading to calls for the 2020 presidential candidates to engage communities across the country in order to better meet the needs of millions of Americans.

“Mental health and addiction continuously poll as key issues for many Americans, yet our leaders rarely prioritize prevention, treatment, and recovery strategies,” said former U.S. Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy, founder of The Kennedy Forum and Mental Health for US co-chair. “This new polling data from New Hampshire is the catalyst we need for change. The Mental Health for US coalition is proud to stand with the National Council and the NH Community Behavioral Health Association as we call on policymakers and candidates to walk the walk for the those with mental health and addiction challenges.” “The results of this poll are compelling. The need to invest in caring for those with mental illness is clear, and the voters want to see candidates for public office at all levels address these important issues,” said Roland Lamy, executive director of the NH Community Behavioral Health Association.

Results from the full survey have a margin of error of +/-6%. Click here for full polling results.

My Thoughts

The struggle to break free from active addiction is among the hardest undertakings a person can face in his or her lifetime. Putting the drug down is more difficult depending on the substance, amount used, and duration of use. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, has sequestered substance abuse under the new heading Substance Use Disorder (SUD). The substance-related disorders encompass 10 separate classes of drugs: alcohol; caffeine; cannabis; hallucinogens; inhalants; cocaine (powder or rock); opioids; sedatives and hypnotics; stimulants (amphetamine-type, cocaine, and other stimulants; tobacco; and other (or unknown) substances. It is important to note that all drugs (when taken in excess) have a common direct activation of the brain reward system, typically leading to dependency and addiction.

Mental health issues can become a complicating factor; this is often referred to as dual-diagnosis, or, in the vernacular, “double-trouble.” Moreover, individuals with poor self-control may be particularly vulnerable to substance abuse. Accordingly, the roots of substance abuse for some individuals can be seen in behaviors long before the onset of actual substance use itself. It is also important to note that substance-related disorders are divided into two groups: substance use disorders and substance-induced disorders. These secondary issues can include intoxication, withdrawal, psychotic disorders, bipolar and related disorders, depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive and related disorders, sleep disorders, sexual dysfunctions, delirium, and neurocognitive disorders.

Features of substance use disorders include a rather important element: change in brain circuits that may persist beyond detoxification, particularly in individuals with severe disorders. The behavioral results of such changes may manifest in repeated relapses and intense craving for the individual’s favorite drug. This craving is often set in motion through a mere drug-related stimuli, which is referred to in the addictions field as a trigger. Typically, the longer an addict remains clean the easier it is to recognize and defeat such cravings. A craving is likely rooted in classical conditioning, and is associated with activation of specific reward structures in the brain. These structures are rather individualized; not every addict is triggered by the same thought or stimulus. Instead, triggers are established by what the individual is agitated or distressed by, and inversely related to the ability to properly handle such stimuli.

Not surprisingly, treating co-occurring substance abuse and mental illness calls for simultaneously addressing two critical and sometimes confounding problems. In fact, double-trouble can often complicate differential diagnosis—the comparison of symptoms from multiple likely mental or physical conditions. From a personal perspective, it was quite difficult for me to clearly determine what was “wrong” with me. Severe anxiety, constant ruminations, insomia, and underlying depression crippled me for decades. In addition, I felt powerless and helpless, unable to relax or sleep. This is likely what initially led to my substance abuse. I started drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana the summer following my high school graduation. My use was extensive from the beginning, but I was able to calm down, stop my thoughts from racing, and finally get some sleep. Unfortunately, I was not “sleeping” as much as I was passing out. It did not take long for my substance use to become excessive, leading to a decades-long season of poor choices and serious consequences.

Reasons for drug and alcohol abuse by individuals with mental illness varies by individual. Substance abuse could be primary or secondary to psychiatric issues, or may even in some cases be independent of mental illness. The association between mental disorders and substance abuse is complex. The relationship of substance abuse to onset, course, and severity of mental issues, and problems in the evaluation of dual-diagnosis patients, is often complex. Adding to this difficulty is the likelihood that the individual often engages in self-medication to alleviate troublesome symptoms for which they have no explanation. This psychodynamic perspective must also include neurochemical considerations. Affective disorders (those impacting mood, often including depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder) are particularly difficult to manage. I found welcome relief through drug and alcohol us—albeit only temporarily.

Unfortunately, chronic substance abuse can also lead to the development of organic conditions, such as psychosis, mania, and mental confusion. Other disorders can include chronic apathy and dysphoria, and personality disorders such as Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. Again, there is often confusion regarding co-morbity. For example, addicts quite frequently use, abuse, manipulate, and disrespect friends, family, and other acquaintances in order to get what they need, whether it be money, shelter, or (at times) the drug itself. These traits are also typical of several key personality disorders.

As these traits become routine, the addict often slides down the slippery slope to criminal behavior—theft, embezzlement, forgery, kiting checks, burglary, armed robbery. A serious, unfortunate end-result for the dually-diagnosed addict can lead to suicide. I have personally considered taking my own life on many occasions during active addiction. I would become remorseful for the way I treated family and friends. The disconnect between my Christian worldview and my behavior haunted me. It seemed suicide was the only option. As my uncle once told me, I was unable to see the horizon. Truly, I have not faced a more difficult situation in my life than suffering from mental illness while in active addiction.

In my review of the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder, I determined I’ve displayed eight of the nine criteria for making such a diagnosis. I’ve demonstrated a pervasive pattern of instability in my interpersonal relationships, self-image, affect (mood swings), impulsivity (sexual behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, risk-taking, excessive impulse spending, reckless driving), recurring thoughts of suicide, chronic feelings of emptiness, and recurrent anger. Thankfully, I have seen a vast improvement in the lion’s share of these symptoms. However, I still deal with poor self-image at times, tend to “sanitize” the truth, occasionally manipulate others, and remain rather impulsive in areas such as impulsive spending.

Given the pervasive nature of dual-diagnosis, it is critical to identify when you are suffering from mental or emotional symptoms, and more importantly to recognize if you are using or abusing drugs or alcohol to dampen or defeat uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. Depression, anxiety, and insomnia tend to “respond” initially to substance use. However, the need for one’s drug of choice to “treat” these types of symptoms increases as use leads to abuse; abuse leads to tolerance; and tolerance leads to dependency. Consequently, self-medication of emotional or psychiatric difficulties by consuming drugs or alcohol is doomed to fail—often with quite devastating results. If you, or someone you know, is caught in the vicious cycle of addiction (with or without a co- occurring mental condition), it is vitally important to seek professional intervention.

It is impossible to “go it alone” and achieve anything like helpful results. In fact, it is likely your situation will deteriorate. I was told years ago by an addictions counselor that because I had an underlying mental illness, treating my addiction without addressing my psychiatric problem is like having two broken legs but only putting a cast on one of them.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use disorder and want more information or help quitting, please contact your local AA or NA chapter, or click here to visit the National Institute on Drug Abuse official website. You can also scroll back to the top of this post and click on the COMMENT bar to open an dialog with me. I will be glad to speak with you any time.

References

American Psychiatric Association, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publishing), 2013.

 

Recovery 2019: The Year in Review

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From the Recovery Advocacy Update blog of the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation originally posted on January 7, 2020.

Hazelden Betty Ford Banner with Woods Background.jpg

As Americans reflect on the past decade, the much more defining story, of course, was the opioid crisis, which fueled an unprecedented overdose epidemic that has barely begun to abate. Drug overdoses claimed a mind-boggling half-million lives in the 2010s and devastated countless others, while exposing the inadequacy of our nation’s overall approach and commitment to preventing and treating addiction, and supporting long-term recovery.

Amid the tragedy, we saw the beginning of positive change in addiction-related public attitudes, perceptions, policies, practices and systems. Hazelden Betty Ford has helped lead the way with many changes of its own. They began using opioid-addiction-treatment medications in 2012, and became a strong advocate for comprehensive care that includes medication options, psychosocial therapies and peer support. They emerged as a leading voice for breaking down barriers between the medical and Twelve Step communities.

Hazelden Betty Ford also transitioned to an insurance model so more people could access care; evolved away from the 28-day residential standard to a more individualized approach that enables people to stay engaged longer over multiple levels of care; launched a new era of aggressive collaboration with the broader healthcare field; made the evidence-based therapy “motivational interviewing” core to a more patient-centered clinical approach; initiated a new, innovative system for capturing and acting upon patient feedback throughout the treatment experience; developed new recovery coaching options; and much more. In addition, the foundation spoke up vigorously about the need for ethical and quality standards in recovery, and continued to support related industry reform efforts. It was a decade of big change for them, and they will likely evolve a great deal more in the 2020s, as they have consistently done since 1949.

Broader changes to the many systems that affect people with addiction are coming more slowly, but things seem to be pointed in the direction of progress. Indeed, most addiction specialists want addiction prevented and treated, rather than stigmatized and criminalized. The question arises, though: Does that mean it is wise to fully legalize and commercialize more addictive substances? Or are there policies and approaches in between that promote public health better than either extreme?

In the new decade, marijuana will be a case study and likely a defining story. The experiment with full legalization looks troubling so far. State-level data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health finds that marijuana use in “legal” states among youth, young adults, and the general population continued its multi-year upward trend in several categories. New data and studies come in weekly, it seems—consistently showing cause for greater public health concerns. One of the foundation’s 2020 resolutions is to help ensure the facts about marijuana and the risks of expanded use get more attention.

One big concern, for example, is that marijuana vaping by teens surged in 2019, signaling that more adolescents are using the drug and consuming highly potent vape oils, according to new government data and drug-use researchers. Federal regulators are paying attention. They shut down 44 websites advertising illicit THC vaping cartridges, part of a crackdown on suppliers amid a nationwide spate of lung injuries tied to black-market cannabis vaping products.

The outbreak of severe lung injuries may have peaked, but cases are still surfacing, and the agency is urging doctors to monitor people closely after hospitalization, due to the risk of continued vaping. One Harvard graduate student writes, “I nearly died from vaping THC, and you could too.” Marijuana and vaping are both among the issues coming up on the campaign trail, and recent polling released by the National Council for Behavioral Health shows strong bipartisan agreement among registered voters in New Hampshire that the federal government is not doing enough to address mental health and addiction in America. Mental Health for US, a coalition trying to raise more awareness in the campaign, held a recent forum in New Hampshire. Watch the livestream replay here.

In Washington, the White House hosted a summit of its own on efforts to deliver mental health treatment to people experiencing homelessness, violence and substance use disorder. Watch Part 1 of the event, Part 2, and the President’s remarks. The Administration also issued its long-awaited vaping policy last week, with the FDA banning fruit, mint and dessert-flavored vaping cartridges but continuing to allow menthol- and tobacco-flavored cartridges as well as all flavored e-cigarette liquids. Many worry the guidelines don’t go far enough.

Since the foundation’s last update, the President also signed a $1.4 trillion spending package passed by Congress, averting a government shutdown. The package maintains funding levels for most areas relevant to the field of addiction counseling, with modest increases in a few SAMHSA grants as well as at the CDC and at the National Institutes of Health. Most notably, the legislation gives states more flexibility in spending State Opioid Response (SOR) grant funds; specifically, they’ll now be able to use the money to also address the growing problems associated with addiction to meth, cocaine and other stimulants. Here’s a thorough overview from our friends at the National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors.

If you are interested in more information about these topics or the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, please visit their website by clicking here.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use disorder and want more information or help quitting, please contact your local AA or NA chapter, or click here to visit the National Institute on Drug Abuse official website. You can also scroll back to the top of this post and click on the COMMENT bar to open an dialog with me. I will be glad to speak with you any time.

Make Me

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The following is a poem I wrote in late December 2019 as I contemplated decades of  bondage to addiction; powerless, struggling but never changing; telling myself the same false reality day after day.

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At times I’m
Just a step away—
One bad choice, ya know?
Leave or stay?
It’s a long journey back
To what’s true. 

Every year
I see what you took,
But the hook is
I played a part too. 

My song, unsung,
Choked me,
Held me back;
Kept me there
Instead of here,
Year after year. 

But your power
Is an illusion—
A trick to make me stay;
Pushing, pulling, shoving me
Into
A box.

Wherever I look, I
See black;
You attack hope and
I answer with affirmations
That fall to the floor.

No more,
Please!
Tired of my own voice,
Exhausted by endless choice,
After choice,
After choice,
Everything staying the same.

© 2019 Steven Barto

Why Can’t I Follow My Heart?

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“The good man out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure produces evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45, RSV).

Written by Steven Barto, B.S., Psych.

LATELY, I HAVE BEEN obsessed with whether I have a heart for God. It is a critical question for all of us. Unbelievably, there are many Christians in the church today who don’t question their heart. An assumption is made: “I go to church. I believe in God. I trust in Jesus Christ. I’m saved so I’m good.” There is a huge danger to having this illogical thought. Whenever we assume anything when it comes to our salvation or our theology, we risk loosing our way. It’s as if we’ve decided to “think” of ourselves as “Christian,” and then walked out the door to go about our lives.

This thought started pestering me in 2009 when my sponsor in a 12-step program told me, “You need to get God out of your head and into your heart.” I was puzzled. It made absolutely no sense. But I’m “saved,” I thought. How can God not be in my heart? When I became a young Christian at thirteen, I was told that Jesus had “come into my heart.” So if He did this, then He must still be there, right? I was later told by my then-current pastor in 2011, “I don’t think you have a heart for God.” Whoa, what? Rather than see a pattern, I became defensive. I was so mortified that I cannot remember the rest of the conversation. It’s as if I decided on the spot that my pastor was wrong. He wasn’t!

What it Means

What does it mean to have God in our hearts? It is important that we know and understand this if we hope to grow in Christ. First, to grow in Him involves allowing Him in us; but this means to allow Him to become greater while we become less. Yeah, I know; that sounds ridiculous, right? Why would we think less of ourselves? It is a matter of humility. Something I have never come to naturally. I am one of those who, for whatever the reason, has to build myself up. Make myself worth something. In doing so, I have led a life of duplicity. Lacking the power to overcome, and the “armor” with which to protect myself, I chose to lie about my feelings of inadequacy. I hid my failures. I permitted life-limiting habits to rule over me. The moment I did that, I chose to live the life of a hypocrite. 

If we’re going to live according to a Christian worldview, we must decide to surrender all of our heart and let God have access to every room in our “house.” This should be an exciting proposition because something greater is coming. It presents us with the opportunity to “clean” our house. Jesus warns us, however, that if we clean house (ask Jesus to come into our heart), but let the rooms remain empty, we are putting ourselves at great risk. Matthew wrote in his Gospel that Jesus said, “But if it is by the Spirit of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you. Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then indeed he may plunder his house” (Matt. 12:28-29). Jesus then adds, “When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest, but he finds none. Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and brings with him seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. So shall it be also with this evil generation” (Matt. 12:43-45).

Can you imagine someone choosing a life of failure on purpose? Does that make any sense at all? What could possibly be at the root of deciding, time after time, to fail? To make choices that risk your life, your health, or your career? That destroys marriages and breaks the hearts of everyone in your family? That costs you countless tens-of-thousands of dollars in lost income and other financial losses? That shuts you off from the very God you claim to love and worship? Why would a “Christian” who is born-again and has invited God into his heart willfully disobey the God he loves? Why choose to be cut off from the Sunlight of the Spirit, going it alone? Why would a theist, especially a Bible-believing Christian, risk (or maybe unconsciously choose) to spend eternity in Hell? The answer to these questions is both complex and simple. Complex because we make it so; simple because the Word of God is clear about why. These were difficult questions to ask myself, but I could no longer put off asking them.

Where Your Treasure Is

I am sure most Christians have heard Matthew 6:21: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” One reason I rejected the comments of my sponsor and my pastor is because I did not think about this verse for one second. I responded intellectually and pridefully, taking “offense” rather than advice. A huge part of my reaction had to do with a complete lack of humility. I was clueless how prideful I was being. Humility, after all, does not mean thinking less of ourselves; it means thinking of ourselves less often. Throw in a pinch of IQ and an ounce of denial, stir in two-parts manipulation and one-part of shifting blame, and you’ve got a recipe for the most sour peach pie you’ve ever tasted. Metaphor aside, it’s a plan for ultimate failure and self-destruction. My self-destruction came in the form of addiction.

One of my most favorite biblical study tools is Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on the Whole Bible. Regarding the section of Matthew 6:19-24, He says, “Worldy-mindedness is a common and fatal symptom of hypocrisy, for by no sin can Satan have a surer and faster hold of the soul, under the cloak of a profession of religion.” [1] If we confess Christ with our mouths, yet take no action to assure we are walking as He has called us to walk, we become the very hypocrites He warned about. Our soul chooses what it will look upon as the “best thing,” and then go after that thing with our whole heart! This “object” of our heart will most likely have intense pleasure, and, perhaps, offer us some reward we find most appealing above all else. It becomes the very thing we’re living for. Perhaps more accurately, it is something we’ve become dependent upon to live. This is what Christ refers to as a “master.” Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” (Matt. 6:24). Trust me, when it comes to serving a master that delivers great fleshly rewards, we will not even realize we are enslaved!

Matthew 6:20-21 discusses the “treasures in heaven,” indicating they are forever exempt from decay and theft. Luke tells us, “For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing” (Luke 12:23). This is what Matthew is discussing in chapter six. Whatever is of good and eternal significance comes out of what we do here on earth. Doing righteous deeds, suffering for Christ’s sake (which includes denying ourselves and taking up the cross), dealing truthfully and faithfully with one another, forgiving one another, being kind, willing to share—all of these things have the promise of reward. These become the treasures stored in heaven. Conversely, consistent unrighteous, disobedient behavior stores up much judgment and wrath. For the unbeliever, it ultimately leads to damnation. For the believer, Paul says, “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive good or evil, according to what he has done in the body” (2 Cor. 6:9-10).

When we fail to see the basic biblical truth of Matthew 6:22-23, as I did for decades, we see life with “bad eyes,” walking in darkness. These verses tell us such darkness is all the more disastrous and defeating because we fail to recognize it for what it is. This has metaphorical implications; the “eye” can be considered equal to the “heart.” Psalm 119:10-11 says, “With my whole heart I seek thee; let me not wander from thy commandments! I have laid up thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.” Here we see the tremendous benefits of Scripture. Jesus came not to abolish the Law but to fulfill it. When we hide Him in our heart, we hide that which He embodies, including the commandments of God the Father. Doing this allows us to watch our feet; the path we’re on. Christ becomes the Light by which we walk.

The psalmist says in Psalm 119:9-16 that we are to pray and meditate on God’s Word. When we do this, we are able to participate in the judgment and discernment of God. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Matthew 6:24 is saying the results of our choices are being stored in Heaven for the day we stand before Christ. We have to ask ourselves if we are storing up treasures in Heaven. That depends on our actions, which are directly influenced by where we decide to set our eyes. How we see the world, ourselves and others, and what we choose to do. It’s really that simple.

Jesus said to the Pharisees, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind” (John 9:39). When church leaders challenged Jesus, asking “Are we also blind?” He said, “If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains” (9:41). In other words, knowing the truth, they chose to ignore it and decide for themselves what was true. This is what Jesus referred to when He said we cannot serve God and mammon (John 6:24). This is a rather strange phrase. In the Greek, mamona, which is a literal translation of the same word in Aramaic, can refer to virtually anything of value: “wealth,” “property.” The root in both Aramaic and Hebrew (mn) means that in which one has placed their confidence or reliance. Both of these are compared—God and “other than God”—not as employers but slave owners. In other words, either God is served or “other than God” is served.

A Hard Lesson to Learn

We now see clearly the vital importance of Matthew 12:22-30. When we’re under Satan’s power and led captive by sin, we are blind to the things of God. Divided loyalty does not merely lead to a partial commitment to discipleship; it is an indication of deeply-rooted commitment to idolatry. Admittedly, this has been a very hard lesson for me. It made no sense during my active addiction that I was actually choosing to serve “other than God.” In this instance, my “god” or “idol” was alcohol, oxycodone, cannabis, cocaine, benzodiazepines. Because we “see” out of the abundance of the heart, my life of active addiction amounted to a continual walk in darkness, even while attending church, reading Scripture, teaching Bible study at two county prisons, sharing at 12-step meetings—sadly, even during much of the early years of this blog. Pride and fear has kept me from admitting this those of you who follow my blog, or anyone else. Walking in darkness also caused me to mistake the path I was on. This is precisely why my sponsor and my former pastor were absolutely correct. I did not have God in my heart. More tragically, my siblings were correct when they said I was being a hypocrite. I could be nothing less at that time, for I was putting on the appearance of being a Christian while walking in denial and disobedience.

What I was failing to see is that when we meet Christ, at a time predestined by God Himself, we will be held accountable to Him (from the day of our salvation) for every word and deed. Take a second and read that last sentence again. Yeah, I know! So let’s get this straight. Becoming “born-again” is not a get-out-of-judgment-free card. I have grown in Christ considerably over the past five or six months. Still, it was not until God put this lesson on my heart this morning that I was able to get to this moment, right now, when I saw a glimpse of what it’s going to feel like staring at His scars, remembering what the last twelve hours of His life were like, having to give an answer for every sad, dirty, low-down, manipulative, deceitful act I’ve done from the moment of my salvation, when I was given the power to dwell in the Holy Spirit and grow in the righteousness of Christ, until the day I draw my last breath. And there is nothing I can do to escape it.

So Now What?

First, anyone in this position must realize that when we finally decide to stop, drop, and roll, putting out the fire that is consuming us, we need to repent and turn over to Christ everything we’ve done. But that’s not the end of it. I have come to see the importance of “letting it go” (allowing the past be the past) and forgiving myself as I have been forgiven. If we fail to do this critical step, we will never be able to consistently see ourselves as a new creation. We will not be capable of seeing ourselves as God the Father sees us: clothed in the righteousness of Christ. Of course, the true “180” must come first or any degree to which we “shine” in Jesus will be dulled by sin and guilt. It is impossible to change if we live in shame. We’ll talk to ourselves with condemnation, forgetting there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Rom. 8:1).

After settling the matter in our hearts that we are regenerated in Christ, we must then pray and meditate on God’s Word, learning everything we can about who we’ve become. It is crucial to remember a fairly universal warning: Satan will not let go willingly. The finest example we have regarding resisting temptation is presented to us in Matthew 4:1-11. Satan appeared to Christ in the dessert and essentially attacked His “Sonship.” This is quite accurate to what Satan tries to throw in our faces, but he is far more subtle and crafty with us. He challenged Jesus by saying, If you truly are the Son of God then change stone to bread; throw yourself down from the top of the temple and let the angels save you; renounce God and the universe is yours. Does this not sound a lot like what happens in our lives once we accept Christ and confess we are the sons and daughters of God?

There is only one way to defeat these challenges, which is exactly what Christ did. He knew the Scriptures because He had them hidden in His heart. Yes, He was part man and part God, likely giving Him a greater moral infrastructure than we have; however, He defeated temptation by saying what the Scriptures say. Then, standing firmly on the Word of God, He told Satan who He truly was and shouted, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written, serve the Lord your God, and serve Him only” (Matthew 4:10). Decide for yourself who you believe you are, seek proof in the Scriptures, turn from your old path, and walk toward the Light of the World. The only way to change our sinful behavior is to see the path we’re on with open eyes and decide to go in an entirely new direction.

***

 I want to start encouraging more feedback so we can open a dialog. Presently, in order to leave a comment you need to scroll back to the header and click on LEAVE A COMMENT, but I’m in the process of figuring out how to move the COMMENT bar to the end of each post. Thanks for reading. God bless.

Footnotes

[1] Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on the Whole Bible (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 1997), 868.

 

2019 Monitoring the Future Survey Raises Worries about Teen Marijuana Vaping

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From the monthly blog of Dr. Lora Volkow,
Executive Director
National Institute on on Drug Abuse

Originally posted December 18, 2019

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For the second year in a row, rapid rises in vaping among adolescents are the top story from the Monitoring the Future survey of drug use and attitudes among the country’s 8th, 10th, and 12th graders. What became evident in 2018 was that vaping devices, which have exploded in popularity over the past several years, are now exposing a new generation to nicotine. Those trends continued in 2019, but with the additional concern of a rapid rise in the vaping of marijuana, as well as increases in daily marijuana use in 10th graders.

More than one fifth of high school seniors (20.8 %) reported having vaped marijuana in the past year, as did nearly that same proportion of 10th graders (19.4 %). From 2018 to 2019, the percentage of seniors vaping marijuana in the past month increased from 7.5 percent to 14 percent—the second largest one-year increase in any drug use that has ever been recorded in the 45-year history of the MTF survey. (The first largest increase was nicotine vaping from 2017 to 2018 reported last year.) Among 10th graders, past-month use was 12.6 percent.

Overall, marijuana use has held relatively steady over the past several years despite wider availability and diminished perception of the drug’s harms by this age group (and by the U.S. population more generally). But the increases in vaping of THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, are alarming for a number of reasons. For one thing, we don’t yet know if THC’s effects differ when vaped versus when smoked in a traditional fashion or whether the amount of THC that youth are being exposed to differs with these methods.

Also, the students took the survey in January of this year, which was before the alarming news this summer about serious lung illness and a number of deaths (48, as of this writing) in people using vaping devices. Most of the illnesses occurred in people who had vaped THC. It is not known whether the cause may have been contamination in certain black market vape fluids, or some other factor. The CDC has named vitamin E acetate as a chemical of concern in vape fluids, but it is too soon to rule out other chemicals or device attributes that may also contribute to the illnesses.

At this point, we know very little about the health and safety effects of administering THC at high concentrations, and this applies not only to vaping but also to smoking of concentrated THC products and new edible products and beverages coming on the market in states that have legalized marijuana for adult use. Research is urgently needed to answer these questions. However, marijuana is federally classified as a Schedule 1 substance. Scientists face administrative hurdles when studying Schedule 1 substances, and currently there are no provisions allowing federally funded researchers to study marijuana products coming from the black market or even from dispensaries in states where they are permitted to operate. Resolving these research barriers is an urgent priority.

Daily marijuana use has remained steady among 12th graders, at 6.4 percent, but this number conceals a very significant gender difference. Eight percent of male seniors report using marijuana daily, whereas 4.6 percent of females do. This suggests that a disproportionate percentage of male students may not be performing to their potential because of daily impairment by that drug.

Increased daily marijuana use by younger teens is another worrying trend in this year’s survey results. This year, 4.8 percent of 10th graders reported daily marijuana use, as did 1.3 percent of 8th graders. The brain is very much a work in progress throughout adolescence, and this is especially true at younger ages, so there is increased risk of long-term harms as well as addiction when 8th and 10th graders use any substance, including marijuana.

The continued increase in nicotine vaping by adolescents is also concerning. A quarter of 12th graders reported past-month vaping of nicotine, as did nearly 20 percent of 10th graders and nearly 10 percent of 8th graders. It is not yet leading to increased cigarette use in this age group—one of the many bright spots in this year’s survey is continued downward trends in smoking—but many public health experts worry that vaping will lead to nicotine addiction in many users of these devices.

The number of 12th graders who vape because they say they are “hooked” more than doubled between 2018 and 2019, from 3.6 percent to 8.1 percent. Addiction to nicotine could lead some users to switch to conventional cigarettes—a trajectory already found in some studies. Another noteworthy statistic in the MTF findings is that teens’ second most cited reason for vaping was liking the taste—a strong argument in favor of limiting the flavorings in vape products as a way of limiting these products’ tremendous appeal.

Apart from the real concerns linked to marijuana and nicotine vaping, the general picture painted by the MTF survey continues to be largely encouraging, however. Most illicit drug use continues to decline or hold steady at low levels. Cocaine and methamphetamine use are as low as they have ever been despite increases seen in adults. Nonmedical use of prescription opioids, which had raised worries several years ago in this survey, is also way down. And thankfully, the crisis of heroin use that continues unabated in U.S. adults also does not seem to be affecting high school students—heroin use continues to be very rare among teens surveyed, with past year use among high-school seniors at 0.4 percent. The fact that MTF is a survey of students in school is important to remember, however. It necessarily does not sample from those who have dropped out of school, and thus misses capturing a segment of the youth population for whom drug use is likely more prevalent.

See all the findings of the 2019 MTF survey, our press release, fact sheet and two infographics on vaping and other drug categories. For more information on the increases in marijuana vaping and what they mean, read the research letter published today in JAMA.

The MTF survey is a valuable indicator of substance use trends in the segment of the population most vulnerable to the short- and long-term effects of drug exposure. It is also the most “real-time” survey of drug use patterns: Every January, 42,531 students in 396 public and private schools across the nation take an hour or so to complete the MTF questionnaire—increasingly, on tablets rather than on paper—and the results are tabulated and analyzed by the end of that same year. It gives the NIDA-funded researchers at the University of Michigan, currently led by Richard A. Miech, an unprecedented ability to track substance use in real time.

Find Help Near You

The following website can help you find substance abuse or other mental health services in your area: www.samhsa.gov/find-treatment. If you are in an emergency situation, people at this toll-free, 24-hour hotline can help you get through this difficult time: 1-800-273-TALK. Or click on: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Advocacy Update: CDC Now Claims 2,290 Cases of Vaping-Related EVALI Lung Injury With 49 Deaths!

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From the Monthly Blog of Jeremiah Gardner,
Director of Public Affairs
Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation
Initially Posted by Mr. Gardner on November 26, 2019

The American Medical Association is calling for “a ban on all vaping products not approved by the FDA,” and the American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry recommends Americans “cease using all vaping devices until … investigations determine … which, if any, may be considered safe.”

The CDC now has confirmed 2,290 cases of the vaping-related EVALI lung injury, with 49 deaths. And now there are reports of another type of injury which experts are calling “popcorn lung.” In addition, a New York Times report took a deep dive into how electronic-cigarette company Juul is hooking a new, younger generation on nicotine in spite of more states fining lawsuits alleging the company  is aggressively targeting young people with deceptive marketing.  Massachusetts lawmakers voted to ban all flavored tobacco products and tax vaping devices. Some worry public health advocates are overreacting to vaping concerns, pointing to it as a safer alternative than combustible cigarettes.

Granted, the public health concerns over vaping are not convincing across the board. Combustible cigarettes do contain more contaminants. The biggest harm, however, comes from nicotine being quite addictive, leading to years of exposure built upon craving more nicotine. E-cigarettes are even more addictive, packing a far bigger nicotine punch. Because they are so new, we know little about the long-term health impacts of all that nicotine. Moreover, early studies suggest vaping may actually lead young people to begin smoking cigarettes. We must stop assuming that vaping is a healthier strategy for smoking. Although it was initially intended to aid those who wish to quit smoking, it’s safer to stick with evidence-based recommendations and proven smoking cessation programs.

According to the Agency For Healthcare Research and Quality, About 42 million people in the United States (nearly 18 percent of the population) currently smoke. Tobacco use is a leading cause of illness, disability, and death in the United States. Cigarette smoking accounts for one out of every five deaths and is estimated to increase the risk for heart disease and stroke by two to four times. Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk of congenital anomalies, perinatal complications, miscarriage, and stillbirth. Substantial clinical evidence shows that quitting smoking is one of the most important things a person can do for his or her health.

This week’s featured media are from a White House round table on the teen vaping epidemic. Various interest groups offered the President contradictory opinions in an interesting discussion that was robust and, at times, heated. The President’s conclusions remain to be seen. He had previously retreated from his September announcement to ban the sales of flavored e-cigarettes, instead calling it a “suggestion” and warning that a full flavor ban could lead to an increase in illegal sales. He did voice support for legislation to raise the legal age to purchase vaping and tobacco products from 18 to 21. In this NBC report, watch a clip from the meeting plus a clip from pro-vaping demonstrations. CSPAN captured the full round table.

Please feel free to share questions, thoughts and ideas. Plus, follow Recovery Advocacy Update on Twitter for additional information daily.

Jeremy Gardner Dir. Comm. and Public Affairs Haelden Betty Ford.jpgJeremiah Gardner
Director, Communications and Public Affairs
JJGardner@HazeldenBettyFord.org
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